I think the idea of friendship has been completely altered and deformed by the progression of society. We’re living in a time when we have been completely overtaken by selfish goals and the desperate desire to belong, that we have lost the essence of friendship along the way. It seems like the “strong” bond we call friendship can survive only through our own selfish satisfaction and contentment. Of course there are those in which we no longer see as friends, but more like family, and in those rarities, we react to them as such. But with the 99% of the other friends we have in our lives, we gain this prideful mindset of “I’m such a good friend, why don’t they appreciate me?” or “If they only knew how lucky they are to have me as a friend.” Such a mentality might come as a shock to you, but I challenge you to think of a time in which it hasn’t privately crossed your mind. It seems as if being a friend is more like having an occupation, than having a blessing. When people say that they are no longer friends with people because “we drifted apart” or “we just stopped talking,” it feels like keeping a friendship has become a burden. Is friendship really supposed to be a burden? I hope not. We have to gain the perspective that friends have us, not that we have friends. Because if you have something, that means you can also dispose of it or lose it or give it away at your own command. Everytime we have been wronged by, or hurt by, or irritated by a friend, we tell ourselves that we have the power to break the friendship — we are in control — so if they don’t apologize or if they don’t undo their wrong, then that gives us permission to end that friendship. There’s that pride again. That’s how most friendships end. And when people say they drifted apart, it’s usually because we gain the mindset that “if they don’t call me, then why should I call them?” If  both friends have that mentality, then that friendship is ultimately doomed. The sad thing is, it happens so often that the word “friend” has lost it’s meaning and value. Nowadays, a friend can be the guy you just met last week or the girl in your class that you asked notes from — relationships that are expendable depending on their impact on your satisfaction and personal gain. Are we friends with such and such only because we enjoy their company, or they make us feel good, or they always hook me up, or they give us something that we want? What happened to being friends with someone because you actually care for them — that at the point when they can no longer offer happiness or satisfaction, we still care for them? We have to start thinking that when we create friendships, it’s not our own choice, it’s something greater — something that we don’t have the power to control. That’s the point when pride no longer becomes an issue, because pride doesn’t exist — it’s all in the mind. We create pride whenever we want. So why would we want to choose something that doesn’t exist (pride) over something that is real, such as friendship or love or family?

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~ by roychi on December 24, 2003.

6 Responses to “”

  1. werd.

  2. So true. So Very True… Hi Roy!! Bye Roy!!

  3. Right on.

  4. damn roy. wow man. youre so deep. i think you need a drink.
    merry christmas. happy new year.
    next time i see you, i’ll buy you a drink.
    see you at mammoth!

  5. wow roy. you’re really deep. impressive. hehe~
    anyway. hip hop and you don’t stop…

  6. hey roy….such moving thoughts. and i thought the only thing that went through your mind was jlo. :). but i think there are actually only a FEW people you can really, honestly called friends. and those are really the people you care about and you love deeply and would do anything for. but the other friends are the ones you were talking about….only on a very superficial basis. okay mister deep thinker, this is an invite for dinner at my apt.  i’m cooking. :). take care roy!

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